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So much.
posted on Friday, June 20 @ 9:09 AM | permalink
I can't remember how old was I when I started to talk to him via roleplay. But it was the age that I was naive.He was like the nicest guy I ever met in there, cheerful, gentleman and flirty of course. Talking to him was what I looked forward to everyday. I can't remember when did our relationship started to change from friendship to a little more affectionate, and then when it became a little too obvious for his girlfriend, we found out that we both can understand chinese. So we talked in chinese instead, so as not to let her know what was going on in between us. Everything was still sweet, still good, and was going to be even better since their break up was going to be near. The break up did happen. But everything else crashed because of his work. He had to deactivate, which means we will never have a chance to talk anymore. What's worse is I wasn't able to say goodbye to him, because I had work. When I went online the next day, I couldn't find him. There was only a message from him. A goodbye message. And I just cried after reading. It was so, so, so painful. There was nothing I can do but cry. I wished time could turn back. Never mind that he would still leave. I just wanted to say goodbye to him. I just wanted to tell him back the same words he told me. I just wanted to thank him. Even if everything was just roleplay. I just wanted to thank him for everything. Till now, time to time I would still hope for a miracle, hoping that he would still come back. But that would be impossible already. Ken brought me out from this pain. But at the same time, gave me the same pain again. I just miss them so much that it hurts. |